Self-Love

I have received another interesting question from another friend. Again, I thought this might be a topic of interest to others....or, perhaps not. Either way, here goes:

Matt. 22:39 "You shall love your neighbor as yourself."

The following is my friend's question:

"There is often a huge debate amongst people I respect greatly on the whole topic of self-esteem, self-love, and this verse. How does one properly and Biblically respect yourself as one of God's creation without becoming gloating and yet also not being so disdainful of ones weaknesses that we view ourselves as garbage?"

Here is my response:

I think a good place to start is by looking at Ephesians 5:28-30...."In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church—for we are members of his body."

This statement and the statement in Matthew 22:39 make the assumption that a normal person takes care of their own needs. It is normal to ensure that you get the food and water you need; the clothing and shelter you need; and so on.

Neither passage is intended to be taken as a commandment to love one's self or to care for one's self. These are statements that assume you do that and, therefore, you should live towards others in the way that you (as a normal human being) do towards yourself.

There is no contradiction in these statements with Jesus' command to deny ourselves. Rather, these statements reinforce an attitude of self-denial. That is to say, if it is normal to love and care for one's self (from a naturalistic standpoint), then Christ is commanding us to live above the natural - live supernaturally - by applying what is normal to the lives of others.

So, one could read that command in this way: "Just as it is normal to love yourself, you shall love others in that same way."

Again, there is no command to love yourself; rather, the command is to love OTHERS with what would normally be self-love.

Self-love has been corrupted by sin which dwells in the flesh. In fact, "love" has been twisted and corrupted altogether by the world. To properly understand and apply the Great Commandments (Matthew 22:37-39) is to take a step in recovering true Love for the Glory of God.

On the matter of properly respecting one's self as a creation of God: As believers, we are indwelt by the Holy Spirit. Our bodies are His temple (I Corinthians 6:19-20). Just as we would be very careful to treat a temple made of brick and mortar, so we should be careful to treat our bodies as God's. "You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body."

This is a matter of attitude. We do not care for ourselves out of a sense of vanity or indulgence; rather, we do so as stewards who are striving to be faithful with what God has given us.

"Moreover it is required in stewards that one be found faithful" (I Corinthians 4:2).