Self-Love

I have received another interesting question from another friend. Again, I thought this might be a topic of interest to others....or, perhaps not. Either way, here goes:

Matt. 22:39 "You shall love your neighbor as yourself."

The following is my friend's question:

"There is often a huge debate amongst people I respect greatly on the whole topic of self-esteem, self-love, and this verse. How does one properly and Biblically respect yourself as one of God's creation without becoming gloating and yet also not being so disdainful of ones weaknesses that we view ourselves as garbage?"

Here is my response:

I think a good place to start is by looking at Ephesians 5:28-30...."In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church—for we are members of his body."

This statement and the statement in Matthew 22:39 make the assumption that a normal person takes care of their own needs. It is normal to ensure that you get the food and water you need; the clothing and shelter you need; and so on.

Neither passage is intended to be taken as a commandment to love one's self or to care for one's self. These are statements that assume you do that and, therefore, you should live towards others in the way that you (as a normal human being) do towards yourself.

There is no contradiction in these statements with Jesus' command to deny ourselves. Rather, these statements reinforce an attitude of self-denial. That is to say, if it is normal to love and care for one's self (from a naturalistic standpoint), then Christ is commanding us to live above the natural - live supernaturally - by applying what is normal to the lives of others.

So, one could read that command in this way: "Just as it is normal to love yourself, you shall love others in that same way."

Again, there is no command to love yourself; rather, the command is to love OTHERS with what would normally be self-love.

Self-love has been corrupted by sin which dwells in the flesh. In fact, "love" has been twisted and corrupted altogether by the world. To properly understand and apply the Great Commandments (Matthew 22:37-39) is to take a step in recovering true Love for the Glory of God.

On the matter of properly respecting one's self as a creation of God: As believers, we are indwelt by the Holy Spirit. Our bodies are His temple (I Corinthians 6:19-20). Just as we would be very careful to treat a temple made of brick and mortar, so we should be careful to treat our bodies as God's. "You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body."

This is a matter of attitude. We do not care for ourselves out of a sense of vanity or indulgence; rather, we do so as stewards who are striving to be faithful with what God has given us.

"Moreover it is required in stewards that one be found faithful" (I Corinthians 4:2).

Does God Hate Gays?

Recently, I was asked the following questions by a friend of mine:

"What do you think Jesus would have thought about homosexuality and gay marriage? Would He have hated gays? Would He have accepted gays for who they are?"

With all of the sad and unfortunate hatred that is often expressed by people claiming to be Christians, I can understand why my friend asked such questions. And I felt it was of the utmost importance to answer these questions. So, here is my response:

First, it is a true shame how so many have taken the message of God's Love through Jesus Christ and turned it into something that it is not.

Does Jesus hate gays? Absolutely not! He loves them and wants to bring them into right relationship with God the Father. That is His desire for everyone.

John 3:17 says, "For God did not send the Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world might be saved through Him."

The big problem is that people have somehow decided that one behavior is worse than other behaviors. But the fact is: we all fall short (sin). God's standard is not that we live a better life than someone else. His standard is perfection (holiness). But none of us are perfect, so He provided that perfection for us by giving us His Son, Jesus. When we turn our backs on our own efforts at trying to please God and accept the perfect work of Christ in our place, then we can stand before God as forgiven and cleansed.

All of our behavior (homosexual, heterosexual, whatever) falls short of being what God requires. Only Jesus Christ, the perfect Son of God, lived up to the standard that God required.

But following Christ is not easy. He said that whoever wants to be His disciple has to deny himself. That means we don't live for our own pleasures, we live for His glory. And He will accept everyone who comes to Him in faith with a true desire to live for Him. And even then, we will still fail and fall short. But He promises to keep forgiving. He will pick us up every time we fail. And He wants us to keep forgiving each other too.

So, what would Jesus think of "same-sex marriage"? I don't think He would give much attention to it. I think He would love people and teach people His way and if the government wants to make same-sex marriage legal, then that's their business.

Being homosexual doesn't send someone to hell. Neither does stealing, cheating, lying, committing adultery, or any other sin. We are all hellbound sinners because we were born in sin and that is our nature. Jesus was very clear about what sends us to hell and He was just as clear about how to get to heaven. He said...

"He who believes in Him [Jesus] is not condemned; he who does not believe has been condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God." John 3:18

God doesn't require us to "clean up" our lives in order to please Him. He wants us to trust in Him and then, live for Him. He loves us ALL. And He won't turn away anyone who comes to Him in faith and repentance.

For me, I couldn't care less if they (human government) make same-sex marriage legal. It won't change anything about my marriage and it won't change anything about what I believe or teach. True marriage is a covenant relationship established by God. The State-issued contract that makes a marriage legal in the government's eyes has little to do with the covenant that God calls marriage.

Everyone is welcome at my church. We don't turn anyone away. God accepts us right where we are, then He takes us on a journey of redemption and transformation that is truly amazing!

Life in Christ is worth it! And it's available to EVERYONE who comes by faith!