Christian Parenting

By Pastor Joe & Debbie Tassell

As our second child prepares for his last year of high school and then heads off to college, there have been those who have asked us what we did “right” in bringing up our children. Before we begin listing some things that God has laid on our hearts, we need to stress that it’s ALL God. It is only by His power and might that we were able to accomplish anything with our boys. He enabled us to bring them up as godly men who love the Lord and want to serve Him in whatever way God leads them. Psalms 127:1a, “Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain.”

1) Love your children! Give your children hugs and kisses! When a parent gives their children hugs and kisses, they are less likely to go elsewhere to find “hugs and kisses”.

2) Give your family priority! Husbands, your wife and family should be your priority, not going out with the guys!

3) Spend quality, alone time with your children! Parent, that bonding time is so important if you want your child to listen to you in anything you say.

4) Read various books to your children! Pass on the love of reading. They are never too old to read books to.

5) Read the Bible to your children! Pass on the love of God’s Word by reading God’s Word to them at bedtime. We’ve actually come across people who have said that they don’t read. Say what? How do they teach their children what God’s Word says with authority if they don’t read? (1 Pet. 3:15; 2 Tim. 2:15).

6) Teach your children to not take anyone’s word for granted! Teach your children to not take what their parents, pastor, or teachers say for granted. Teach them to delve into God’s Word for themselves to see what answer God has for them! Then pray about it. Make it personal! (2 Tim. 2:15; Deut. 11:18-19).

7) Church is a priority! God comes first! Parent, when you don’t feel like getting out of bed to go to church – do it anyway! Parent, when you don’t feel like going to a church activity – do it anyway! If you don’t set the example now, how will your children ever learn this extremely important way of living? By not putting church first, you are teaching your children to give God their second best! Do you want your child to be the happiest they possibly can be? Teach them this important priority! (Heb. 10:25; 1 Cor. 10:31).

8) Saturday night is not the night to stay out late!Letting your child stay out late with their friends so they are half awake on Sunday morning, or even worse, don’t make it to church, is teaching your children that God is not a priority, worshipping Him is not a priority. You are teaching your children it’s okay to come to church half a wake so they can barely listen to what the Sunday School teacher or the preacher is saying about God’s Word. Don’t teach them that God’s gets seconds! (1 Cor. 10:31).

9) Busyness is ungodly! His Word commands us, “Be still and know that I am God!” (Psa. 46:10). Do not fill your child’s life with many fruitless activities just because you want them to be “well-rounded”. Filling up your child’s life with activities that have nothing to do with Christ or His great commission or not allowing them to “think on these things” is a grave error that will come “back to bite you.”

10) Block TV Channels! Parents don’t be afraid to take control of the entertainment in your home. Say no to certain shows even if “their friends” are watching them. Don’t allow your children to have TV or Internet access in their bedrooms. Letting your child watch whatever he/she wants no matter what age is like letting the pedophile down the street come into your house and rape your child. Putting raunchy stuff in their brains does not magically disappear later on in life. (Phil. 4:8; I Cor. 15:33).

11) A radio should not be an important thing in your house! Our children did not have radios growing up. Don’t let the frivolous, lascivious music into your house or into your child’s brain. A song or lyrics are not easily removed once they are heard. Take control of what your child downloads! We are not saying that all music has to be Christian, but it should be something that wouldn’t offend Jesus Christ when He is in the room. (Phil. 4:8; I Cor. 15:33).

12) Stay informed on the entertainment industry! Know what’s going on. Know how to explain to your child why you say no to certain movies, music, etc. This will also help you maintain balance in your home, so that you are also able to say yes to things that are not that big a deal! Because you are informed! Because of this you will be able to teach your child also to be discerning about media. (Matt. 10:16).

13) Back up every rule with Scripture! So it isn’t just you saying it, it is God’s Word demanding it. Be ready to give an account to your children in all things. (1 Pet. 3:15).

14) Homeschool! Let me preference what we are going to say here by saying: Thank God for our public school teachers! We thank them profusely for taking on this very difficult position! We also know that not all teachers and children your child comes in contact with everyday are Christians. Young minds are pliable and susceptible to what is being taught to them and around them. It’s important to ground your child in biblical truths at a young age, so that they may know why they believe what they believe (in every subject)! We believe the best possible place to do this is in the home. (If you want more reasons to homeschool, please come talk to us and we will gladly talk with you.) (Prov. 13:20; Deut. 6:6-9).

15) If possible, mothers, don’t work outside the home!Wow! What a novel idea. A stay-at-home parent. (Titus 2:3-5; 1 Tim. 5:14). The excuse we hear most often is that we could not afford that. Why? Because you’re used to getting everything you desire? If you don’t need it, do without! “Use it up, wear it out, make do, do without!” God’s Word says owe no man anything (Rom. 13:8). If the reason you are working is because you are in debt up to your ears, then you need to get your priorities straight. What does this teach our children? Why is our country in so much debt? Because parents have neglected to teach their children that “things” are not the answer to happiness. This is sin! (Matt. 6:20, 24).

16) Teach your children to tithe! Who gave us the money or our jobs in the first place? It ALL belongs to Him. The least we can do is give Him 10%. Teach your children when you give to Him, He will take care of you!! Our family has seen it firsthand! (Col. 1:16; Phil. 4:19).

17) Don’t be afraid to say no! You are NOT their best friend! You are the parent first!! Do not give in to this! (Prov. 29:17).

18) Dating is not for young children! Teens who have no control of their sexuality need not be dating or in a one-on-one relationship! A tween going through puberty and just figuring out what it’s all about doesn’t need the added burden of sexual temptation thrown at them. We do not own our own bodies if we are Christ’s (We are bought with a price). So teach your child to treat their body, soul and mind like it’s His, because it is! (1 Cor. 6:19-20).

19) Have your child dress like they are God’s child! (1 Cor. 6:19-20.) Not the world’s child. God wants them to be modest. “I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly…” I Tim. 2:9. Parents, your daughter doesn’t need to be dressing provocatively around the boys. Please explain to them that boys hormones do not function the same as girls! Please sit down with your daughters and explain thisvery important matter before it’s too late! Before your daughter comes crying to you because a boy took advantage of them or worse!

20) Parent, teach your sons to respect girls! Teach them to treat a girl like she is God’s child!

21) Teach your child to be polite! Teach them even if they don’t like someone, they should still be polite to them!! Love your enemies! (Matt. 5:43-48).

22) Laugh! Laugh! Laugh! Parent, a loving, sweet, laughing, spirit, will become your children’s. If you walk around with a sour face, your child will have a sour face. If you are angry all the time, your child will grow to be angry all the time. (Eph 4:31). Teach your child to smile and laugh through the hard and difficult times. Make the verse “The joy of the Lord is your strength” (Neh. 8:10b), a reality! Take time to laugh with your children. It’ll make their day! (Psa. 68:3)

23) Pray for them! Author John Eldredge states, “To live in ignorance of spiritual warfare is the most naive and dangerous thing a person can do." Your children are fighting every day for their lives. The devil is REAL and roaming “around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour” (1 Pet. 5:8). Be on your knees for your children praying that God will protect them and guide them and that they might truly seek Him every day.

An actor for a new MTV series recently said, "When you are a teenager, your friends are your family." Teens are finding more relationship with peers than with parents and its destroying families and churches!

Parents, God has given you the privilege of bringing up your children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord! (Eph. 6:4). Do it! God has not given the responsibility of raising your children to a youth pastor or other leader in the church. The church is not responsible to bring up your children!! YOU ARE!

Your Pastor and your church love you and are here to support you and help you. But YOU must be the parent God wants you to be!!!

"If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him" James 1:5. We are praying for you!